Blaugust 2025: About the Resident Weirdo...

'Lo, ev'ryone! As a blogger of over fifteen years, well. It's been a long time since I joined a blogging event! Not since 2012's BatFit, I think...and that's—Well. Let's not talk about that utter failure. 😒 Blaugust is far more manageable for a chronically PC-bound deadbeat like me! 🤪

Ahem.

Blaugust is, well, kinda what it says on the tin! More info here 'cause...I'm not good at explaining this thing...I literally decided to join 15 minutes ago. 😬 So! Welcome to my personal blog. I am Mar, Mar Qaroll, and, again, welcome to the worldwide web's weird, weary wonderer of weaved words, a.k.a. Liquid Depresso Injection, a.ka. W5! 👏🏾

---

About Me

Aside from the lovely stuff on my blog's actual "About Me" page...here's what you need to know in a nutshell.

Firstly, I am the liquid depresso expresso with a heaping spoonful of drugs—literally (I take meds (not that these meds seem to be working). I don't talk about anything positive, even when I legitimately ty, and it's been long over a decade since I have been positive. I guess blogging about sweet nothings (literally, nothing) will help...? Maybe. I don't know. 🤷🏾‍♂️

Look at my extensive handful of blog entries over the years to get an idea of what I mean. 😊

I used to be semi-active in the online goth blogging scene (even got tagged that one time) from about 2011 to 2012/2013 until my depression became way too much for me to handle and I went away from home for school. Worst. Fucking. Decision. Ever. Since then...well, anyway... 😒

What you really need to know is that I'm a transmasculine storyteller who uses writing as his medium. 😃 Ink is my blood, words are my DNA. I've only ever been good at telling stories, but the execution isn't always that...good. Or so it seems; I dunno.

Sorry, I'm really depressed. 🤧 19 years and running... ✌🏾 Might do something for my 20th...

TL;DR: I'm a chronically medicated MDD'd nutjob, but dammit, I'll try this event anyway!! Yes, I am being partially sarcastic throughout this post; I won't (or will try) not to talk like this, but...to be 100% honest? I cannot promise. Depression is a BITCH and a dash of Hell. Again, and I'm serious; look at some of my previous blog posts before you decide to follow (and probably my About Me page, too).

Hell, looking at this, I wonder if I even qualify to do this event. 😒 I probably missed something about love, positivity, and peace, but I'll do it anyway, just to spite myself. 🤧

---

Mid-2025: Maybe I'm a webnovelist?

'Lo, ev'ryone. It is just almost exactly seven months into 2025 and...I am trying something old, something new. I've been on Patreon for several years, at least three, and every attempt to make it successful, or at the very least working, has been an ultimate failure. It's a long story, one I don't feel like talking about, to be honest. Maybe not now, maybe not ever.

Anyway.

Starting tomorrow, I am going to attempt being a consistent webnovelist. A novelist who writes serial stories, uploading chapters every week or two weeks or a month. 🙏🏾 Of course, there's no guarantee any of this will work, but I damn well can try... 😩

I've been writing for exactly one month, since June began, already. I pumped out sixteen chapters for The Raven, including one prologue and two bonus chapters for Darkness & Silver Lining on Royal Road, during that time. 😃 I think I can try doing it again but at a more manageable pace.

My schedule is laid out. I have chapters ready, at least a month's worth, for next month (starting tomorrow). I'll work my ass off every day and every night to get this done because this is my dream. I'm tired of living as it is...

...but enough about my suicidal ideations... 🙄

Here's the schedule! Click it to make it bigger.

I don't have much else to say. Updates on this will be on my Patreon, Indie Authors Social (Mastodon, essentially), and Bluesky! Remember, this is only my personal (albeit public) blog. 

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it... 🙏🏾

 

2025

‘Lo, ev’ryone. I’ve been relatively silent these past four months since 2025 started…despite my hopes and intentions and whatnot. Everything leading up to this year was…decent. I had hopes for this year, if nothing else. Yet, four months in and…

I’m starting to wonder, for the umpteenth time in my life, why I bother. With anything.

With my hopes.

With my dreams.

With my intentions…

With what I think I can do.

Nothing happens in my life. Yes, I am one of those pathetic people who waits for something to happen to them because I am tired of trying and failing to make the change happen myself. I tried. I tried so hard. I can’t put all my energy into doing that again…

I can’t.

You don’t know how fucking hard I tried...

---

In the meantime. I’ve rebranded Candelabræm. Candelabræm Books is now a subsidiary of it, as well as a new subsidiary that will focus on art. As in artwork, crafts, craftsmanship, and all that jazz.

Speaking of which, I have…intended…to work on art again. For the first time in too many fucking years. Have I actually “artworked” in the past week? Hell fucking no.

So…that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing.

Nothing.

As usual.

So, fuck me, right?