Day #?? of the Hot Blood Overdrive and of Bat Fit 2012

To be honest...when news of Le Professeur Gothique's Bat Fit 2012 came out last year, I kind of sighed to myself.

On November 12, 2010, I began what I called my Hot Blood Workout regimen, inspired by Aural Vampire's song of the same name. Did it work? Even I don't know; the HBG was nothing new, I had just given it a name. February 28th of this year began what I called my Hot Blood Overdrive regimen...and that hasn't been going very well at all. Maybe. I'm not sure...

...I'm not even going to try to count how many days into the HBO I am...

So I was debating whether or not I would partake in Bat Fit...and I don't know. Maybe incorporate elements...

So here's what I've done so far...

Today I went to the dollar store and bought me some things...

You have no idea how hard it was to get this picture...

So...Yeah. Another gorgeous book and pristine white paper to ruin.

I need to go to bed...I'm an hour behind schedule...and there's school tomo— today. Later today.

I had a nice dream, yesterday. One of the few that take place in the real world, but was most definitely "a dream", if you get what I mean...

I'd go into detail...

But that'd be bitching.

...Yeah. I've been off...

The search for peace of mind

There hasn't been much to talk about. Hopefully tomorrow I get to go out with a friend, maybe go to the mall and talk over lunch or something...and then it's back to a rigid school schedule on Tuesday. Lovely. In the meantime, I'm searching for peace of mind...

Everything has just been so very messed up. This whole year has started off on the wrong foot, amiss all of my "accomplishments". I personally don't feel very accomplished. And I'm not going to bitch, don't worry; even I'm not in the mood to do that... 

So here's the deal. I've grudgingly accepted that I won't have a single peace of mind with my personal identity and mindset for as long as I'm even remotely connected by this invisible dependent string to my family. Okay. But I can at least get the hell away from everyone and take up something hands-on, a trade, for a year or so. My plan for the next fall school semester is to go to Job Corps, but not the one here. I'm talking about the one in Massachusetts. 

So what does this mean? This means I'm going to have to go to the adult education center and talk to the Job Corps liaison there. I've spoken to him before, but it was some time last year. He might not even remember me...

And then, if I get that out of the way, learning when the next schedule is and such, the next part is going to be hardest. I need a near entirely new wardrobe. I'm talking underwear, toothbrush, hijabs, the whole nine freaking yards and more. It's ridiculous, really...and I don't know how that is going to work...

I've been forgetting to take my meds, so maybe that's why I've been so very out of it. Though I have to admit, the idea of being "dependent" on medication is really starting to piss me off. They never seem to work, anyway. 

Oh...and there was this vocational counselor I was supposed to have seen sometime during the weeklong break I had...but...I...forgot. Did I mention how bloody forgetful I am...?

Yeah. Feeling rather shitty. My attempts to finish my fanfiction and stories aren't helping, either...not to mention the lack of reviews...

I think I'm straying to bitching.

I shall stop, now...

Oh, and in other news, the Project DV wiki is up and running..

World Goth Day 2012

2012  |  Image from Facebook (?)

Been looking forward to this day for a while, now. I had it on my calendar and everything...but...unfortunately...there is little I can do to celebrate that differs from my everyday norm. Now, I suppose I could try to listen to lovely music all day long, out loud, but that is just a great big "SUPPOSE". Did I mention my mom and I share a room...?

Not to mention my other idea to stay out all day on the computer interacting with my internet companions is also hampered since I've been up and am up now to near 6 AM. Been reading fanfiction....all morning...and watched nothing but Enies Lobby episodes of One Piece with my mom up until about midnight, so...yeah.

...I'm also feeling...quite...well...it're really no different from the norm, but...at times like this...I don't care. Not what happens to my body, not that I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing...not like that...

So. Yeah. Happy World Goth Day 2012, ev'ryone...

Oh, and this is my (published) 90th post and (unpublished) 100th post. Interesting.

Flea Market Finds

Obviously, I went to the flea market today. I found three, count 'em, three things off my small list o' necessities!

This is new.

First and foremost is a gorgeous black umbrella I found at the very end of the market itself. I had a gut feeling something good was going to be at the end. Check this: got it for $2. And the only "problem" with it is just being a lil' dirty and one of the folds had dead maggots in it (dried, so they were easily brushed off). Come on. This, what, $12 umbrella is a total steal.

Second are these....*inhales sharply* gorgeous compact mirrors mimicking Anna Sui's brand that I've only found on Ebay for around $4 to $8 each! I got 'em both for $4; two dollars each. That booth had more Anna Sui-like cosmetic accessories, also seen on Ebay, but I didn't get the large black vanity mirror because lack of monies and it was just too biiiiiig.

And lastly are these earphones. They were the most expensive at $5...but...they seem to be dying AL-FUCKING-READY. Lovely purchase, those. Hmph...

Aaand...I don't have enough money to see Dark Shadows, as I had forgotten I wanted to do...Stupid...stupid...

And, forgot to mention, but the first time I went to the local flea market, I found these lovely sunglasses.

I'm talking about the lower, smaller ones. The larger ones are what I call my Burton glasses and were bought on Ebay for a little less than $5. Oh yeah. Finally...

I really need to start budgeting again. I've fallen completely out of synch since I began to go to Gateway...

A note: like I said, school is technically over, but only for a week; this week coming up. Then I'm off to some mandatory computer class that I'm looking forward to and planning on acing for a month. And then...

Movie review: Dream House (2011)

This movie is not a horror. It's some attempt at psychological thriller. It sucked.

End of story.

Dream House | Image from Wikipedia

I feel cheated; the commercials liiiiied. This was the most unsatisfying movie I've seen in a long time.

And a short note: I've finished this college transition program at Gateway...and the awards banquet is at 6 PM today. I've been very much lethargic and unmotivated to do anything, even read or write, hence the lack of entries...

...I had to make this one, however, because my mom and I were so looking forward to a friggin' horror!!

...Lies...

Some books and losing steam

First and foremost: books and movies I've recently discovered. Two goth subculture books were found in my school's library. One, which I have borrowed before but never finished, is called Goth: Undead Subculture and the other I plan on borrowing today is called Goths: A Guide to an American Subculture. Hm. Interesting. So far, the first book seems very much legit. I had planned to do a review, but even though this is my second time borrowing this damned book, I fear I won't be able to finish it before the 24th arrives. Though...I do have a week off of school...so...maybe then...?

Image fro Google | Seems legit

  

Image from Google
I'm wary of this one, for some reason...

 And now, movies. Never seen 'em, but they sure sound interesting. I stumbled upon an interesting picture from one of the Tumbrs I follow. I think it was a wolf wearing what appeared to be Mary Antoinette-esque attire, complete with the wig/hair, and at a table with a man and a woman dressed in clothes of the same period. Didn't look like a parody at all. So! The movie sounds just up my alley!

Image from IMDb

Yeah, yeah, look at that creepy cover. The user-made summary is: A bag full of symbolic folklore about werewolves, or, rather, their sexual connotation. Granny tells her granddaughter Rosaleen strange, disturbing tales about innocent maidens falling in love with handsome, heavily eyebrowed strangers with a smoldering look in their eyes; about sudden disappearances of spouses when the moon is round & the wolves are howling in the woods; about babies found inside stork eggs, in a stork nest high up a tree; etc., etc. Of course the story of Little Red Ridinghood is also present, with a very handsome he-wolf! (And of course this he-wolf consumes Grandmother, but 'consumes' Little Red Ridinghood). All the stories are somehow reducible to loss of innocence, and fear of/hunger for (a newly acquired sense of) sexuality; their Freudian character is mirrored in their dreamlike shapes. This movie is not really a horror movie; it's more a multiple tale about growing up into adolescence.

Mm hm~ I wouldn't mind if it's campy...I just want it to be GOOD campy! Like Rocky Horror or Trick 'r Treat...

And the second is one I've heard of before, but never researched.

Image from IMDb

C'mon. Sam Neil and Sigourney Weaver are in it. If it's not good, I'm gonna be pissed.

I love dark versions of fairy tales...

*Ahem* And now for the (very short) rant.

I'm losing steam. The finals are tomorrow and alllll the rest of this week and...seriously? This is EPIC. FAIL. I spend more time focusing on PDV than school work! I've just fallen apart. I'm tired of this bull that is completely unrelated to what I want to do in the future, especially math. I know...I know this is necessary...but it's driving me fucking crazy!

...Maybe I just need a break...from everything. I don't know...