Wednesday, January 4, 2012

New Year's Resolutions

Though I'm the type that believes you shouldn't wait until the new year to start a change, I don't see why not at the same time. Sometimes planning when to change gives you time to least from my experience. So far I haven't planned too much that is different from what I've always tried to accomplish every (other) day, but I have a few things in mind that I really will try to start...right now.

1. Will not be afraid to be honest with myself as to who I am, especially when my family is involved.
2. Will find my voice.
3. Must focus on continuing my education, even if that means sacrificing personal time.
4. Will connect with people whose company I find enjoyable and keep in contact with them.
4. Partake in Bat Fit 2012 to the best of my ability.

That's all that's new, I think. Anything else is already in progress.

Amiss my attempts to upload videos as often as possible and type more blog entries, I won't be able to now that I'm trying to get into Gateway. I'm waiting for a call for the date of my accuplacer test so my anxiety is rising, which I can't believe. I have recorded some videos and all I have to do is edit and upload them, but I don't know when I might do that since my mom has hijacked my laptop. I have to get on when she's sleeping, which is usually in the early morning. That has got to stop. This goes along with #2 of my resolutions; this is my laptop, after all.

I feel just a little bit optimistic about this...but I haven't been feeling very..."well". Not that this is a surprise. I've had chronic depression for some time now; years. Amiss my medication, it doesn't seem to be getting better. Sometimes I wonder if this will ever get better...but I'll admit I never thought I'd get this far (i.e. GED) a year ago...but that hasn't impacted my mood at all. The reaction I had when I got my GED, and observer's responses to it, was proof of such. I had a "Oh. I passed. Uh. Yay?" attitude. Still do. To me, it isn't much of anything at all.

Entries might be like this from now on, or at least more often than not. I'm going with my flow. 

So it is now 3:21 in the morning and...I have laundry to do later today. And I have to shave my head again; lots of hair is growing back and I don't need that right now. Ahh, the freedom of being bald...

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