Saturday, July 23, 2016

Where have I been? | Mid-2k16 Update

...So...nothing I had planned for this year has worked out, so far. Not having a job, not my plans and hopes for exercising or getting back in shape, not wearing my corsets again, since none of them fit me anymore...and...well...not even Project DV's 10th Anniversary. It's all very depressing...and it hurts a lot...

I'm trying so hard. I don't understand what more I can do. It's tiring, and my body physically hurts every day I wake up. I've even started considering some things...Well, we won't go there.

Aside from that, my favorite time of the year is soon to approach. There are exactly 100 days until Halloween. But even if I get a job before then, I'm not going to have any money to spend on the choicest things that make me happy. I won't have any money to spare. I may be materialistic,'s what gives me some sort of smile, you know? Beggars can't be choosers...

I'm trying to get some sort of professional help, but even that isn't going so well. Money is required for some of the base things I need to get out of the way...and money is so painfully tight right now...We've pretty much been living off of the kindness of family members since March. But it can't be that way forever...and it makes one feel so horrible...guilty...useless...

So for now, Project DV is on a hiatus. No one takes any interest in it, anyway. It's just another one of those things that...will have to wait a considerable amount of years before anything actually happens to it. For it.

Furthermore, my fanfics are also on hiatus. Somewhat. I know no one who actually reads my stories is going to know this, but I'm just putting it out just in case someone wonders. If anyone wonders.

I can't do this, right now. I don't even know what "this" is. I just can't do it. Too much anxiety, too much stress...too much worrying. And having the worst happen...

Why do I bother staying optimistic anyway...?

...I know this blog will never be as successful as my first one. No one seems to take interest in what I say, in any this blog will also go on hiatus. All of my entries prior to this one will be hidden. Whatever may possibly come after this...will stay.

I'm just so tired, so sad, too stressed, and too anxious.


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