As 2025 E.N.Ds...

Sigh. 2026 is here. 😒 Who fucking cares? I sure don't—but I am glad for it regardless; all of 2025 was a ripe mess for me. A constant back and forth of attempts to be productive and failing miserably. I wasn't even able to partake in Blaugust 2025 as I had intended. Obviously...

With that out of the awful way...

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Social media

I didn't go over this earlier this month or even in November 'cause I was too embarrassed to say or do anything. I'm a failure, after all. But what I want to do before winter ends is get my internet "presence" under some semblance of control. I have a few places I'm eyeing, such as Pillowfort, the Fediverse, and Instagram. Hell, even Tumblr. It's extremely active over there, if you didn't know. 😶

As you can see these are plans, not necessarily intentions. These are things I really do want to do. Fuck things like eating better or losing weight. I have more pertinent things to worry about... 😒

Instagram

Anyway, sometime in maybe March, I plan to ignite my Canva account, get a subscription, and make some fuckin' awesome things for a  new Instagram account. At least that's the plan; if that doesn't work 'cause of account complications, I'll just use my current one. 🤷🏾‍♂️ I do want to name it something like "Storyteller Mar Qaroll", though. But we'll see!

Ahem, so I'd do things like posting snippets from stories. Might do a LOT of that in February first, if all goes well, but without Canva's prettiness...

• Quotes
• My characters
• My stories
• Something something pretty things?
• ...advertisements?

Pillowfort, Goblin, and Tumblr

These here Tumblr and Tumblr knockoffs will all have the same content. What that content is, I don't know yet. I need to go sniff around and see what works best for writers up here. Otherwise, I might just use it as a glorified repost bin from Insta as well as Tumblr/Pillowfort/Goblin themselves.

• Flash fiction
• Fandom stuff
• Reposts from Instagram
• Original and others'

Bluesky, Indie Authors Social, and Threads

These three are hopefully going to be my "main" socials. Pretty much everything I do online will be reposted or mentioned here alongside reposts/quotes from others. Interacting, too. Especially on Threads, which is like a limited version of Bluesky and IAS. 

Asterisk below means it's just for Threads.

• New blog posts (here only)
• Stories posted online (everywhere)
• Pertinent blog posts related to my stories/PNDVS/STRVRS/CNDL.net
• Posts to chapters
• General updates*
• Flash fiction*
• Answers to community questions*
• Story/character quotes
• General reposts from the site*

Honorable mentions

SpaceHey

...I might abandon this site. Or at least just keep it defunct and check up now and then. I really don't know what else to do, so maybe some random crossposts from here might do... 😕

CharacterHub

I am announcing I am still on CharacterHub under an alias (not a very well hidden one) for drawing and drawing only. It'll be a fuck-shit pile of hell, but I do intend to try to draw again. I just need a better PC and a better tablet...

Reddit

Not sure how this site really works?? I might just keep using it as I have been, what with community responses and quiet activity. I'm also the moderator/owner/?? of two subreddits, r/Candelabrem and r/Paneidoverse! One more will come soon... 👀

...hopefully sooner than later...

Separate mentions

I am also on 4thewords and, as I mentioned once, GaiaOnline, still. They are "game social sites", so they don't really count. I'll just keep doing what I do on 'em... 🤷🏾‍♂️

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Writing

...as I've been saying, this isn't going well. I just want to write, goddammit...

Newsletter (The Rational Organ)

I need a better way to get a newsletter to a greater audience. At the moment, and probably through the winter season, I am stuck with using Patreon and SubscribeStar. Neither of which gets me a wider audience. I've... *grits teeth* CONSIDERED going back to Substack ('cause let's be honest, I can't back out of everything)...but we'll see. Goddammit all to fucking hell...

Stories

The intention and plan for the winter season is to...hmph, TRY to get into a consistent writing schedule that is actually productive, unlike the lack of shit I've been doing since...October. I should have finished Human this year. I am so fucking pissed I didn't. I can forgive The Monkey and The Little Gods in general since I have a completely new version of the entire setting...

• Finish Human
• Finish The Monkey
• Finish When the Moon Shines Red OR just...fucking mark it incomplete...
• If all else fails, write small canon and non-canon shit in my settings and worlds... 😒💢

I also want to finish a new story in general this year, or fuck, this season. I doubt the latter will happen, but I can try, goddammit. This includes the crossover fanfiction I've dedicated myself to...which now includes Jujutsu Kaisen!! 😮 WHOO! 🙌🏾

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Candelabræm Network

...I don't really even want to talk about this. It's so "nothing" that I'm questioning my sanity with ALL of this, everything I do. Because that's what the Candelabræm Network is: everything I do. 

And yet...

20 years of...?

Well. As of tomorrow, conceptually, Candelabræm is 20 years old. To get what I mean by that, to really get the meaning of those words, it's best you just...read about it on the encyclopedia. I'm too...tired to explain. And maybe actually read the whole article if you really care, for the love... 🤦🏾‍♂️

It just. It's been nothing. No progress, nothing to show...

But starting tomorrow, you will see some changes to symbols and icons related to both myself and CNDL.net online. 

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As I say, I'm nothing but someone who tries. And don't fucking Yoda me, man. 

I'm trying.

And thus, the New Year commences...

Blaugust 2025: About the Resident Weirdo...

'Lo, ev'ryone! As a blogger of over fifteen years, well. It's been a long time since I joined a blogging event! Not since 2012's BatFit, I think...and that's—Well. Let's not talk about that utter failure. 😒 Blaugust is far more manageable for a chronically PC-bound deadbeat like me! 🤪

Ahem.

Blaugust is, well, kinda what it says on the tin! More info here 'cause...I'm not good at explaining this thing...I literally decided to join 15 minutes ago. 😬 So! Welcome to my personal blog. I am Mar, Mar Qaroll, and, again, welcome to the worldwide web's weird, weary wonderer of weaved words, a.k.a. Liquid Depresso Injection, a.ka. W5! 👏🏾

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About Me

Aside from the lovely stuff on my blog's actual "About Me" page...here's what you need to know in a nutshell.

Firstly, I am the liquid depresso expresso with a heaping spoonful of drugs—literally (I take meds (not that these meds seem to be working). I don't talk about anything positive, even when I legitimately ty, and it's been long over a decade since I have been positive. I guess blogging about sweet nothings (literally, nothing) will help...? Maybe. I don't know. 🤷🏾‍♂️

Look at my extensive handful of blog entries over the years to get an idea of what I mean. 😊

I used to be semi-active in the online goth blogging scene (even got tagged that one time) from about 2011 to 2012/2013 until my depression became way too much for me to handle and I went away from home for school. Worst. Fucking. Decision. Ever. Since then...well, anyway... 😒

What you really need to know is that I'm a transmasculine storyteller who uses writing as his medium. 😃 Ink is my blood, words are my DNA. I've only ever been good at telling stories, but the execution isn't always that...good. Or so it seems; I dunno.

Sorry, I'm really depressed. 🤧 19 years and running... ✌🏾 Might do something for my 20th...

TL;DR: I'm a chronically medicated MDD'd nutjob, but dammit, I'll try this event anyway!! Yes, I am being partially sarcastic throughout this post; I won't (or will try) not to talk like this, but...to be 100% honest? I cannot promise. Depression is a BITCH and a dash of Hell. Again, and I'm serious; look at some of my previous blog posts before you decide to follow (and probably my About Me page, too).

Hell, looking at this, I wonder if I even qualify to do this event. 😒 I probably missed something about love, positivity, and peace, but I'll do it anyway, just to spite myself. 🤧

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Mid-2025: Maybe I'm a webnovelist?

'Lo, ev'ryone. It is just almost exactly seven months into 2025 and...I am trying something old, something new. I've been on Patreon for several years, at least three, and every attempt to make it successful, or at the very least working, has been an ultimate failure. It's a long story, one I don't feel like talking about, to be honest. Maybe not now, maybe not ever.

Anyway.

Starting tomorrow, I am going to attempt being a consistent webnovelist. A novelist who writes serial stories, uploading chapters every week or two weeks or a month. 🙏🏾 Of course, there's no guarantee any of this will work, but I damn well can try... 😩

I've been writing for exactly one month, since June began, already. I pumped out sixteen chapters for The Raven, including one prologue and two bonus chapters for Darkness & Silver Lining on Royal Road, during that time. 😃 I think I can try doing it again but at a more manageable pace.

My schedule is laid out. I have chapters ready, at least a month's worth, for next month (starting tomorrow). I'll work my ass off every day and every night to get this done because this is my dream. I'm tired of living as it is...

...but enough about my suicidal ideations... 🙄

I don't have much else to say. Updates on this will be on my Patreon, Indie Authors Social (Mastodon, essentially), and Bluesky! Remember, this is only my personal (albeit public) blog. 

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it... 🙏🏾

 

2025

‘Lo, ev’ryone. I’ve been relatively silent these past four months since 2025 started…despite my hopes and intentions and whatnot. Everything leading up to this year was…decent. I had hopes for this year, if nothing else. Yet, four months in and…

I’m starting to wonder, for the umpteenth time in my life, why I bother. With anything.

With my hopes.

With my dreams.

With my intentions…

With what I think I can do.

Nothing happens in my life. Yes, I am one of those pathetic people who waits for something to happen to them because I am tired of trying and failing to make the change happen myself. I tried. I tried so hard. I can’t put all my energy into doing that again…

I can’t.

You don’t know how fucking hard I tried...

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In the meantime. I’ve rebranded Candelabræm. Candelabræm Books is now a subsidiary of it, as well as a new subsidiary that will focus on art. As in artwork, crafts, craftsmanship, and all that jazz.

Speaking of which, I have…intended…to work on art again. For the first time in too many fucking years. Have I actually “artworked” in the past week? Hell fucking no.

So…that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing.

Nothing.

As usual.

So, fuck me, right?