Break it down...

Not like that. Just in the way that...I'm just...not focusing. A lot is going on...I'm having a hard time catching up. With life at home seeming to be...bland and...slightly chaotic in the way I see it...PDV going down the drain and being completely unable to focus on everything, well, I usually just want to spend my time lazing about doing nothing, typing away and someshat and simply listening to music. I haven't even started my homework and there is nearly a 45 minutes until midnight. And it takes me forever to do homework with my current mental condition.

I both dread and look forward to August, when school is out.

And then there is the most annoying, saddest part about all of this. I'm...dying to be included in activities and be with people who share the same interests and like as me. Desperately. It's driving me so crazy, but I don't know where to start. I don't know how to start. I have nothing to show for my love of the alternative subcultures and dark culture. Nothing whatsoever. Nothing you can look at and touch, that is, and I know that shouldn't matter, but that's how we of the alternative and underground scenes identify each other, right? I have nothing, nothing but what I say and like, the music I listen to, which doesn't help since I have nothing to play my music on outside of the house, and the lovely things creeping about in my head.

The alternative scenes and anything related to them in Connecticut are...pretty much dead. Sure, we're here. I've seen some at least once or twice a year, three if I'm lucky. But there are no clubs, no events...though there is a lolita community that I'm not currently interested in primarily because I have no real interest in the lolita life/style. Obviously. Also, I'd rather go to a lolita meeting all dressed up...aristocrat style.

I'll admit I have made a friend who I can talk to about literally anything and everything...but she's not actually interested in the scenes, you know what I mean? I'm not complaining, though. It's been five years since I last made a friend...

Random shiz. I just needed that off my chest...Haven't had anything truly interesting to talk about. Well, sort of. I did go to Savers and get a beautiful red halter top dress-shirt I'm crazy about...as well as a pair of shoes, a movie and a book. And I found my elusive second armwarmer. And my friend also gave me her cousin's pair of shoes that fit, slightly don't, but I'm not complaining. Yay. Still nothing exciting...