Thursday, November 2, 2017

Old, alone, done for

...I don't know where to begin, really.

It's been this...horrible back and forth between feeling okay to feeling downright miserable and...I feel very alone. If you're wondering how, I'm tired of repeating myself. Go search for the answer yourself, if you care "so much".

...Sure, you do.


...So, then. What's new with ol' Mareonet.

...Well, I made a new wiki. A sort of...counterpart to my second most developed fanfiction after The Worlds That Never Should. It's not nearly as developed as it,'ll come around. I hope. As much as I love Devil May Cry, it better get more development...

I also made a new blog, but I doubt that'll go anywhere. Like most "new" locations I make for myself online, I have good momentum, in the beginning...until I realize I'm alone, again. As usual. As always...

I'm still madly obsessed with a certain Kingdom Hearts rarepair, but I'm also now obsessed with an original pairing I made up for said second most developed fanfiction after TWTNS.

Said pairing could be modified to work in an original story, but I am...quite hesitant to attempt to create a new ID (idea), since, pfft, yeah, my record with my stories—literally my stories—is pathetic at best.

Said possible original story could be used for NaNoWriMo, but, pfft, yeah, my record with trying to do short stories—or any story—is painfully confusing at best.

Said month could be a good time to experiment with stories, but I'm still obsessed with Ice & Space and AkuRoku and...(Kingdom Hearts)...

Not to mention, I'm horribly bummed since I discovered I don't have the memory card for the PlayStation 2 that has 10+ years of video game data on it.

So. My pathetic existence continues, with me trying to have a...slightly less pathetic existence.

Oh, and how could I forget to mention how horribly lonely I am? I just want to much...with somebody. Almost anybody. I read some little excerpts from my stories and just...want to share it. Talk about it. For hours. You know how people see something stupid on the internet and want to share it? Well, that's how I feel about the things I do. I just want to share them with someone, someone who I hope can appreciate the things I do the way...I do.

...Still haven't found that someone, yet...

I keep going, anyway...for some reason. Even when the tears come back...what else can I do, in the end? I can never, ever stop myself from imagining, from writing. That's good, I guess, or so everyone keeps telling me.

But what good has it done for me, in the end?

That's right.

Nothing. Nothing good has come from this blessed curse.

There's also this nuisance that is the internet and the communities I like.

...But I can't even begin to formulate coherent thought with all of that nonsense.

So I won't try.

Anyway, I'm just rambling to myself, I'll just...end this entry here, I guess...

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