Monday, October 3, 2011


I don't know. I probably need to go to places on my own more. Maybe I need to just overcome my shyness and try to get another pen pal or something. Whatever the case, I'm lonely. It's true, I can be horribly shy. Always have been. God almighty, my mom can tell you stories. I'm getting better but not nearly as much as I'd like. Talking to complete strangers on the street also just...unnerves me somehow. I don't know this person. Why should I talk to them?? Why would they want to talk to me?? I just don't like strangers. Yes. I don't think most people like strangers. What the fuckery, right?

But, you see, I've been sheltered my whole life. There's so much that's new to me, amiss the fact that I'm nineteen. Up until I became seventeen, I couldn't even walk out of the house on my own. And the times I was given permission to do so, I was...afraid. So don't even go there.

I know this is a problem I have to get over myself, most likely. Complaining about it won't change anything. I know...

I only have two friends, one who I can't really communicate with and the other who I can't see as much as I'd like...

I know...

Just needed to vent a little bit.

1 comment:

  1. The Goth bloggery community can be quite supportive. I recently moved to a different country and away from everyone I know except my other half, and I've started making online friends now, internet friends in far away places. It's not a substitute for RL friends, but I'm fairly shy too. I've only talked to a few people here regularly - mostly because they work at shops I frequent! Having previously been working fairly long days and now being unemployed I've had little chance to join social groups or clubs. One RL thing I have found that helps is doing voluntary work. I do outdoors conservation work, which is hard labour, but I've met good people. Previously I've done other stuff, and generally found nice people and varied people too through volunteering, including a few friendly alternative types.