Ze END of Ze World

It's happened.

I told myself it would never happen to me. I swore it wouldn't. I didn't like the very thought of it, and honestly, I still don't. Materialistic things...they really don't mean anything, in the big picture. But...I am human. That's an excuse I don't use very often. I am also female. That is an excuse I do use quite often. So I curse my female genes for this inherited curse, as well as my humanity for the need of the crap in this world.

What crap?

CLOTHING AND SHOES!!

I'm obsessed! Obsessed and I HATE it!! But...I just got finished adding over fifty, sixty shoe pictures into my picture wishlist on Photobucket!!! THAT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE! There is NO WAY on earth that I'll have that many shoes! It's stupid and I know it is! But that's the problem! A part of me really...REALLY wants them all! Oh, so IMPOSSIBLE.

*Sigh*

Also. I seem to be getting into designer clothes, inadvertantly. I don't even like the sound of that. Indie brands are expensive enough as is. But designer? Even more expensive. Talkin' $500+ and the least expensive might be around $400 IF that!  I saw a pair of designer shoes that weren't EVEN that great that cost OVER $1000! UNbelieveable. YOSUKE shoes aren't even that much, and they're the most expensive shoe brand I hope to buy, Inshallah! I don't hesitate when I tell you the second I come upon a designer brand/product/site or an online store where the first item is over $200, I BOLT. I don't want to see what is on the site in fear that I'll like it and want it. Scary expensive is scary.

When I was little, MUDD shoes were all the rage, at least to me, as they were my favorite shoe brand. My shoe tastes haven't changed since then: thick heeled boots/heels and round-toe shoes. I can't remember that far back as to what MUDD looked like at the time, but their shoes now are...pfft. Nothing compared to what I want to wear...
Everything is in the past tense. What do I have? I'll tell ya: a pair of white and silver-grey Sketchers sneakers that cost about $70 and...very old boots from three, four years ago that don't fit me right anymore. I only regret asking my dad to buy those sneakers...I could've gotten something better online that cost less than that.

*Sigh* But alas. Just two years ago, t'was, and I wasn't as passionate about online shopping or my true calling as I am now. I was damned stupid, that's what I was.

Yes, I am thankful for my clothes. I constantly remind myself I am fortunate to have anything at all. Allah knows I'm thankful. He does. He does.

Glad I got that off my chest...