Of Money & DIY

...I'm considered a student. I don't have a job...I live with my brothers and my father. My dad cares for all of us and he's constantly working. I'm getting my GED, Inshallah, this year so I can get a really decent job. I will probably start off doing something in the culinary field...maybe a waitress...Mm hm. As such, I have no money of my own. I get $40 allowance a month every two weeks. And...that doesn't last very long. Not one bit.

Because I'm out of the house for hours Monday through Friday for usually five to seven hours a day, and with the slow pace I manage to do my homework, I don't have time for much aside from making dinner and lunch, taking naps and errands. So...I don't have any hobbies. Not really, anyway. But if trying, attempting and failing to work on my projects can be considered a "hobby", then I guess it is. Huh. With that, I don't have time to take up the one project I really want to get into: sewing.

I had the chance to get into sewing when I was little. I wasn't even ten yet. But I was stupid, horribly stupid, when I was a kid, so I didn't take advantage of taking interest in sewing amiss all of the times my mother tried to get me into it. Had I done that, I'd probably have a project for EA under control by now. But I was so...so...stupid.

And now I have no patience with myself to learn how to sew on my own, especially with how hectic things are here at home and how easily distracted I am. I have no mercy on myself because I hold horrible grudges. So I hold a grudge against myself for being so damn stupid when I was little. So damn stupid. And so. Making things on my own is not likely to happen within this or next year, at this pace. What I'm trying to get to is...

Buying things. As you should know, for some, alternative lifestyles/subcultures are big on two things: brand names and DIY, most especially. I happen to be an avid fan of both. I really could care less, as long as it's made well and works the way it should. I don't care what it's made of as long as it doesn't harm me or look bad. I don't care who made it as long as it's not from a sweatshop or the money I spend goes to some shat organization/wretched cause. I seem to probably be one of those people deeply interested in so many different styles and whatnot, but has nothing to contribute to keep it steady. At least, for now. But it'll probably be a long time...

Inshallah...this will change. Perhaps in a year, hopefully less. I'll keep an open node in my brain about it. I'll be looking for openings. But as long as I'm happy...as long as I'm content...I really shouldn't care.

It'd be better than where I'm at now.

Reminder to write a letter to the Mistres of the Manners (labeled: letters to mistress). I'd like to ask her about this just to get another opinion about it, if she chooses my letter in the next lesson.