Thursday, April 21, 2011

Surprise, Surprise??

I have another follower!! She has an amazing blog. I'm just getting started...*sigh* but I can't help but hope I get better at designing things via computer...graphic design or something...all on my own. Oh. I forgot to add that one to my list of ambitions...*sigh*

Well. Yesterday was...annoying. Somewhat. I did manage to go to the library and did make it to my therapy on time...but all she told me was that she believes I'm pushing myself too hard as well, just like everyone else. Maybe I am. But even when I feel I'm not I still don't get work done.

People all tell me the same thing, trying to be nice:

  • I'm beautiful.
  • I'm smart.
  • I'm mature.
  • I'll do "just fine".
Bull. SHIT. Be nice? Be nice? They just manage to piss me off and then I've got to smile at them to make them get the fuck away! First of all, the first three just aren't necessary. I don't need my vanity stroked anymore than it already is thanks to my new "discoveries". I worry about that. I don't want attention to be brought to me, you know? Ever felt that way? The feeling of knowing, being thankful, but...just...after a while it gets...weird and somewhat annoying once you find yourself thinking about it, when you weren't beforehand. And the last one IS bullshit. Again, I'm not saying I'm not thankful...but jeeze louise...

And the library again, but...I cannot believe how difficult it is for me to focus! I've been here for about an hour or so...but did I complete any school work? I did yesterday, but not today. After a while, I was sick of the distraction and just decided to get it over with and get on the comptuter.

...I'm not looking forward to going home. Home is just chaotic. Home is...uninspiring. Home is depressing. Home is not as homely as it should be. Not to menion the people I live with are...not listening to me.

I hate it when my posts are depressing, but what can I say. I'm going through that typical time in a young adult's life where this stuff is a daily occurance...*sigh*

I'd like to rant about something fun or inspiring...or something again...

1 comment:

  1. you should. make up some random blog. but not depressing. ohhhh. i kno. okay--do one that is completely opposite and idk just experiment with the idea. your thoughts on a [very specific]topic~! say, people. or gender (!) or idk....something.